burdge:

victims of the 90’s

burdge:

victims of the 90’s

littlemammal:

littlemammal:

6 selfies 2k14

not a guy, they/them

(via topazpocky)

One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.

Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love”  (via disappolnted)

(Source: feellng, via effieandhaymitch5eva)

she was special and unique because unlike other girls she read a book and drank a tea and didnt talk about a clothes

young adult authors everywhere 

 

#she was also hetero and she liked to look at the stars at night

#And she was an old soul who raised herself, also her eyes were deep pools

#And she didn’t wear makeup but it was okay because she had flawless skin anyway

(via beepboopboopbeep)

I HAVE BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS POST

(via muricansparkleparty)

(Source: klefable, via love-singingbeauty)

lettiebobettie:

After commission hours last night I put together some more things for my store. This is what came of it!
I love them all
This is available both on Store Envy and Society 6!
Store Envy!
Society 6!

lettiebobettie:

After commission hours last night I put together some more things for my store. This is what came of it!

I love them all

This is available both on Store Envy and Society 6!

Store Envy!

Society 6!

starkexpos:

briangefrich:

Lee Hurley of HurleyFX is putting together an absolutely stunning Groot cosplay and hopes to have it finished by DragonCon.

In the height comparison photo, he is shown standing next to his wife, who is 5’9”.

His wife, Lauren, will be cosplaying as Gamora:

ho-ly shit

(via fahrlight)

(Source: gayavengers, via begitalarcos)

sherlock-awa-holmes:

Just to clarify 

sherlock-awa-holmes:

Just to clarify 

(via fahrlight)

thief-in-the-dark:

internleland:

wtnvwinchesters:

I’ve come to the conclusion that Sam and Dean would take one look at Night Vale and burn it to the ground, civilians be damned.

i’ve come to the conclusion sam and dean would drive into night vale and spontaneously combust from being exposed to sexual and racial diversity and women who don’t die within a week

image

(via the-peach-ninja)

batcii:

smoo told me to draw zutara week stuff so instead i drew some modern au gaang. sorry for my shitty handwriting.

(via masterarrowhead)


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winniethehiddlespaceSweet Nothings from the mind of a simple bear. A bear who happens to SHIP EVERYTHING
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/4412683/Winniethehiddlespace

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